when the uh when theshitposting yeah































I genuinely can't do this anymore man.
I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired.
every single damn day I just sit here and do fucking nothing useful in society. I'm useless. There are so amny things i wish to work on but it's never worth it because nothing works out and
what the fuck am i talking about. there's nothing to complain about. this is all my fault. you'd think id just live life like that with the knowledge of this but it seems that not everything works out super nicely.I want to work with someone. I want to work for someone. i suck but maybe someone out there has the time to teach me. maybe i can learn. might be too late though. i dont know what I'm saying anymore. honestly? I'm writing just for the sake of it. it's hard to understand people. i want to make stuff but I don't want anyone to just think its cringe. well.. that's okay but i hate it when people are needlessly mean to others, especially when they cant see all the effort put into works. i see videos that are just mocking others for doing surprisingly impressive acts just because they're ugly or sound annoying. I wish that tall things were less scary. there's something quite jarring about constructs that tower over you. like skyscrapers. i always have that sinking feeling around them. it's like i expect them to topple over at any moment despute dozens of people coming together to make sure the building is stable, looks nice and is cost effective to the company's budget. people work day and night building and checking for safety yet I'm still afraid. I don't know why. i dont know why im always so scared.
why the fuck am i doing this? i can write this whenever, wherever yet it ends up being here of a webpage.
it's not even a pretty one either. default font, default colors... there's basically no css at all. plus, the writing doesn't even follow any set topic. it's just rambling over absolutely nothing.
i had a dream the other day. strange how the worst ones feel so real. I was missing both my arms but was strapped to this machine and forced to make art. but not real art. something to do with my nerves and shit. ai. i don't know what it was about but it felt so gross because i couldn't move at all.